So here’s everything:
I am
Amy a girl who has always lived by the rules and had set plans. Over the years
I have broken my rules and plans in order to be one with the rest of the world
and not “old fashion” as most would call it. Although I look back in regret to most of my
decisions, I must look forward to what I have been able to accomplish and
realize that I have amazing people in my life. I may not agree with certain circumstances
but I also cannot change what is meant to be or has been done. I must learn to
forgive, forget and move away from my past and other people’s past. Along with
these I must also try and change my issues with trust and jealousy. To have my trust that means one usually also
has my heart and that is another big deal. Being in my current relationship I
am lucky to be with someone who has trust even after his past experiences which
I greatly admire. I wish to learn how to trust again but it will take time. I
know that in this relationship in order for it to work I must trust him and he
knows the consequences if he does not follow through with it.
Jealousy on the other hand, is something new
that I started dealing with in the beginning of 2012 and I hate it. I feel that
it is childish and only brings me more stress. I am jealous of people I don’t
know and shouldn’t be jealous of. It’s sad but true and I usually take others
down because of this. I want a clearer head and a less jealous perception of
things. I share this with everyone
because I am open and try to be honest with myself and the world. I am a person
that believes there is someone else out there who is going through a similar situation
or has gone through it and by sharing it helps us to move forward.
One
thing I need to make clear now to everyone is that I have made my choice in my
life to be with someone who was not in my plan by my standards and that’s okay.
Although there have been issues with me and coming to terms with the fact that
he is everything I said I would never date because of a kid and marriage, I
made an exception and I am glad that I did though…even if I was still second
guessing it the past couple of months. I
know in my heart that he is the one I want for now and until I no longer exist.
He makes me happy and loves me more than I probably give him credit. I hope that those who doubt in this relationship
understand that it’s not theirs but mine and I am going to proceed with it and
hope they will just be happy that I am happy. Quentin I love you and I am sorry for any hurt
I have bestowed on you. I know you have been a punching bag for me more than a
few time since you moved down here and I am truly sorry. I hope we can continue
to build on this relationship and move on to our 40 years we have left
together! I love you now and always!
